Now That I Am Forever with Child

How the days went
While you were blooming within me
I remember each upon each —
The swelling changed planes of my body —
And how you first fluttered, then jumped
And I thought it was my heart.

How the days wound down
And the turning of winter
I recall, with you growing heavy
Against the wind. I thought
Now her hands
Are formed, and her hair
Has started to curl
Now her teeth are done
Now she sneezes.
Then the seed opened
I bore you one morning just before spring —
My head rang like a fiery piston
My legs were towers between which
A new world was passing.

Since then
I can only distinguish
One thread within running hours
You . . . flowing through selves
Toward you.

~ Audre Lord (1934-1992), american poet

impermanence washes the earth clean; but bad karma is like a mountain

tonight’s rainstorm

impermanence washes the dirt off; but bad karma is like a mountain of shit

my little potato captures the flooding of truckyard where I work

texas is flooding tonight.  I’m thinking about putting habit outside, to evaporate in the sun of tenderheartedness.  Here’s a poem written for someone I love very much.  no philosophy tonight, just hunger


Two minutes ago, boiling coffee
Ten minutes ago, white hot bean burrito
You’re hungry,
but your throat is not prepared for this

If tonight’s storm happened all at once, what would be left?
earth would be flooded, totally buried
and washed away with great passion
No moment left to savor this meeting
of earth and sky

With vast patience, each drop
is perfectly placed.
That’s love’s necessity.

trying to hurry
and missing the point
silly man
be patient
Keep your eyes open and eat
keep warm

burn the candle, create
discipline and structure,
work, take joy
but mostly, love

Because there’s no other place to go
no “where” to get to
just this little cave
and my very own rainfall


What matters: quality adventuresome companionship, and doing whatever it takes for The Band

Rustling the Jimmies of Nihilists Part 1: Adventures Await!

What matters: quality adventuresome companionship, and doing whatever it takes for The Band

Be excellent to each other.

“Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling.” ― C.G. Jung

“Psh, y’all think archetypes bubble up from the subconscious, that shit bubbles down – to what fools call personality!”  – some Jung scholar I can’t remember


It’s always weird to think that given an infinite amount of time, an infinite number of monkeys would invariably type out the entire works of Shakespeare.  Especially if you imagine what kind of contraption would keep a colony of monkeys solely occupied by typing for that long.  They might just evolve into Shakespeare to save time.  (whoever points out humans are not derived from monkeys first is a badass!)

This cute metaphor about monkeys and Shakespeare demonstrates a most excellent property of statistics.  What it means is that given an infinite number of chances within given parameters, (which are in this case monkeys typing in English, which is pretty cool imo) anything possible within those parameters will necessarily occur.  Ayn Rand will come out, the script of Garfield will come out, this drivel will come out, along with Shakespeare and the entirety of Obama’s dialogue.  Everything beautiful, not beautiful and the mundane.

The general enculturated response would be to hand the audience a nice photograph of a monk praying or gorilla playing or computer generated neu-age art product with a nice quote advertising how deep we all are, but frankly that’s been done and now it’s boring.  The actuality of it is far more interesting, as it provides the crux of the only particular detail inherent in human beings that provide a basis for interest … the introduction of a non-mechanical clause.

GI Gurdjieff, professional rogue and mystic of some repute, said something like “human beings are ninety-nine percent mechanical, one percent something else.”  This particular one percent, which is way less successful than the 99% will ever be (unfortunately), is what causes this shit we call appearance to be relevant to our collective interest (unconscious).

Whoa, you say, that could really wreck my perception of the universe as wholly intelligible (even though I totally accepted your drivel about statistics!)  consider my jimmies rustled, and sympathetic nerves freaked out!

Chill out bucko, I’m getting to that part.

Please check out part 2 for the answer to today’s crossword puzzle

Spirit Science = Not Science

#thuglife  #killinit

return to worldliness


Shall we dance, dear friends?  My companions, the arrows of wisdom, bring in the hour with song.

Today mine arm stokes the fire for another adventure.  Coalshovel of tenderness in hand, may this fool reach deeper into the aether of mystery, stoke the fires of vast compassion, and craft fresh beats to keep the vessel lean and super funky.

Thankfully, this appearance purchased with my own life force is not asking for much in return.  Just look at what I made for you, just once!  I have handed you an invitation made of sunlight.

This is my advertisement. You are the ten thousandth visitor!

The thing itself is boring, when you get down to it, but supremely transgressive … this being no missive other than, having no particular interest in, anything other than the incarnation of beauty, truth, and goodness.  This is true simplicity of form, a model of efficiency. Mark you, it’s not an outward crusade of pavement and money. Rather, a melting of heartmind toward the unutterable.

A gathering of joy awaits those who with great diligence and courage plunge headfirst into the shining way. For art and work alike are heartbreak in the wilderness of the earth.

The one constant is change, the one joy abiding in that river.  Please, this is it. Whatever your field is, where you make real effort, that holds the possibility: bringing forth a joy that was born free of worldly concern … part of this human realm but more interested in the deliciousness of the hard-won fruit of labor, free from alienation.

I entreat all that can hear: take up the way! Today is a good time to practice chasing the masterpiece. Today is good, even though those moments of glory are many drops of sweat away, and not a few tears … today is a good day to predict victory, especially for those in a heartless place. (Take heart, little warrior, it will do all of us an ounce of good, and since we are neighbors it’s best to work together.)

Today, tomorrow, the next day, all we cling to will be lost. Therefore, there is no need to worry about results!

Rejoice, the only moment you need is here. No purchase necessary, take fucking heed because actual product may vary.

Give us your best shot, friends.

This rampant fucking tool,


Discussion After Jim Stuart

Everybody’s favorite political pundit except for the opposition, Jim Stuart, caused me to drunkenly ramble off this quandry that has always plagued my “problem of the world” sensors.  Do the useless elite prey upon the stupid?  Or do the stupid leech off the elite?  Hmm.

His name probably isn’t Jim, anyway.****************

Today, the thing about this planet that quietly annoys me is the subtle emphasis in Democratic rhetoric that cultural sophistication equals egalitarian values. I do understand the way this contributes to society as far as education and academics contribute to societal cohesion values, historically a liberal education does lead to a fuller mental understanding of other cultures and underlying emotional patterning of those personal habits like religious and racial tolerance, but I really don’t care for this sort of “love for your neighbor” as being described as exclusive for the liberally (and shall I say expensively) educated. However, I still don’t get how, on the other hand, those americans coming from a less educated background are the opposite, that is to say more likely to be religiously and racially homogenous in their thinking. This is totally according to my own perception, in this nation Democrats love immigrants and Republicans hate them, take your pick of words but that’s what it boils down to legislatively.

HOWEVER, what I was getting at is the serious, historically-supportable trend that:

1. The more educated you are, the less practical your ideals.
2. The less educated you are, the more practical your ideals.

I asked my mother: It’s terrible that people have to dig graves and do other horrible jobs. Why does God make people do things like this?
My mother said: It’s not about God, honey. Some people have to dig ditches. You can’t expect some namby pamby intellectual to grab a shovel. It is good that we have stupid people around to do those jobs.

Which is an emotionally involved political paradigm that we have been living out for a very long time, I think. I just don’t know what to do about it.



Very close to being right.